I clicked on my comments section and noticed that my comment section was "temporarily disabled." My sleuthing skills led me to realize that when I last checked two weeks ago, this "temporary" problem was already in place. Then I realized that there was a reason I hadn't checked the comments for two weeks: what was the point? It was not a very widely used link.

So I just removed the comments section. I may put another one on, but perhaps it's better that I don't have a comment section. It was just a reminder that no one comments here. Why did I have a comments section in the first place, and why would I even consider adding it again? A friend of mine who openly wondered why he has added a commenting area can explain our reasoning much better than I could.

"We're all DJ's on the graveyard shift playing our favorite songs, hoping that someone will pick up the phone and give us a call to say they liked a certain song or wondered who wrote that last tune or request something or whatever. We're lonely and bored and we'll take what we can get. Crank calls are always welcome... I suppose my writing in this blog is just another way of asking the same question over and over, the one I kept asking on Christmas morning when my brother and I got those walkie-talkies with the bright orange buttons and morse code guide on the face.

"Can you hear me now? How about now? Can you hear me now? Hello? Can you still hear me? How about now? "

I don't think many people are reading this stuff anyway. Most of my viewers have been college friends who have since gone home for the summer and don't parade around the internet let alone visit a blooger about someone else's life. That's fine with me because I honestly did not start this blooger for other people. This writing I'm willing to share, but it's essentially for me and me foremost. An outlet of creativity, of expression, of record-keeping, of emotion.

I very well could cave in and insert a comments section to see who's listening. Sound like an insecurity? Well, I enjoy attention, and I like to be admired and respected. I take pride in myself, but that verification from others feels good too. Only I know I shouldn't rely on others to make me feel good. It helps when you're down on the ground if you have others come to pick you up, but sometimes the best thing to do is to just get up by yourself.

I came back from morning class just fine and chipper, when my mood stumbled a bit thinking about my comments section. Thanks to writing, I rose from the ground, by myself. I don't need to write anymore. Lunch calls... coming ham and cheese sandwich!