The ABCs of my Monday:
Antisocial patient chastizes me for violating my own code of ethics without a word ever spoken between us.
Black coffee scorches my crotch as I drive to work.
Cigarette stench so strong on a man that my throat burns for the entire afternoon.
Drive 45 minutes out of town to listen disc two of Better Dayz.
Ever walk to your kitchen naked, forgetting that your blinds were wide open?
Fall asleep on the couch for two hours.
Game of "Find Funny Names in the Phonebook."
Hongwei Wang continues reign as funniest name in the phonebook.
I guess I forgot to eat dinner.
Jaywalking! exclaimed by one disturbed patient every time I crossed the street.
Ketchup doesn't burn the crotch like coffee, but it stains worse.
Lenny Kravitz cd (Circus) finally arrives in the mail (just as good as I remembered it).
Monday is AYCE wings at Alehouse, but I decided to forget that whole eating thing.
Not having my dog to spazz all over the apartment made my return from work sterile and lonely.
Orange soda splats all over my tater tots.
Patient at the center asks me when he can have his sex change.
Quit trying to teach a man pre-algebra after twenty-five minutes of "how does that work?"
Ripping those warts off that guy's cheeks would relieve me of so much cringing anxiety.
Seven thirty in the morning is really just stupidly early.
Tupac rocks (raps?) my stereo.
Updike stories distract me from an hour of dead time.
Very few interesting things actually happened to me today, so at this point I'm just pulling at threads.
Wake up from nap utterly delusional from sleeping with sunlight and awakening with darkness.
XS J. Crew shirt cannot shield the world from my bulging biceps.
Yoo-hoo after Yoo-hoo after Yoo-hoo, and now I'm out of Yoo-hoo!
Zero offers to make out, what's with that?