Just days ago, I pondered my current feelings for the girl that just one month ago fell into my every thought, kept me body spinning and tossing for many restless nights, and ultimately uttered the "f" word when deciding the depth of our relationship when we drive in opposite directions on the highway. My mind told me that my return to Gainesville in a few weeks would complement a readiness to conclude the chapter of my love affair with this girl and dip the pen in new ink, awaiting a new girl to help me write the next chapter. I used the words "possibly" and "dare I say, probably" for whether or not I expected my heart and body to be mended enough to embrace a new special girl upon the start of fall semester.

The last two nights, we have shared warm moments together. Two days with her, and I must downgrade my outlook to "doubtful."

Quite simply, I am not over her, and until we kiss goodbye and she travels five hours into the broken roads of Mississippi, my feelings for her will grasp at those glances, smiles, and frozen moments we've shared. She and I will not end this summer in a Hollywood picture, with her telling me how much she loves me on the eve of her departure, and I confessing all my desires to be with her as our faces pull closer and closer until our lips seal our hearts from the outer world. I will not return to Gainesville with her glowing smile framed on my wall, nor do I want to open my wallet to picture of her holding me tightly. My soul still secretly yearns for her to lean into my shoulders and breathe on my neck as she falls asleep, dreaming about me... BUT... overall I decline to surrender to those desires because while I adore the girl with the same vigor, my adoration for the girlfriend has weakened. I ultimately only want her in my life as a friend. Though the girl finds her way to press her finger on my heart and spread a warmth across my entire body, the girlfriend lost her passionate touch while we stretched across ten hours of emptiness and hope.

I must move on, and I will move on, but I need more time than I thought. Some guy spread the word that patience is a virtue. Here's to the virtuous journey of mending my heart. I smile because the healing is inevitable, and with the right timing and magic, I'll rise to a higher platform of bliss.