Sunday, July 11, 2004

Top 3 Absurdities From the Low Carb Craze

1. Low Carb Bacardi. Can anyone honestly say they were deterred from having one more shot of rum because of they had passed their carbohydrate count for the night? Anyone who considers choosing a low-carb alcohol as health-conscious should be shot in the forehead with a BB gun.
2. Low Carb Pizza. Who knew the Freshman 15 wasn't caused by the grease, cheeses, or multiple shredded meats atop those 3-in-the-A-M pizzas? It was the dough, the foundation of our round mound of fats, that gave us love handles!
3. Low Carb Cat Food. I was at a Shins concert when the opening band's lead singer informed us that this product was circulating in Los Angeles. The only reason this isn't number one is I just can't comprehend anyone being fucking stupid enough to buy this.

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