Anthony, age 7: Daddy, how do a boy and a girl have sex?
Dad: You just stick your boogers in them.

Dad: Ant, cut that out or I'll break your face!
Anthony, age 10: What? You do it all the time in my face too!
Dad: Yeah, but mine smell good. Like tomatoes fresh from the can.

Anthony, age 13: It's not fair.
Dad: Well, you can either stay here in bed feeling sorry for yourself, or you can get up and do something about it. Either way, we'll help you any way we can. That's what we're here for.

Dad: I cried a little bit on the way home.
Anthony, age 18: Really?
Dad: Yeah, I saw a McDonald's and it reminded me of you.
Anthony: What memories do we have at McDonald's?
Dad: I don't know.

Dad: So what are you doing tonight?
Anthony, age 19: I'm just making a cake right now with a couple of guys on the floor.
Dad: Oh wow, I've never been so proud! Evelyn! My son is baking with the boys on a Saturday night!

Anthony, age 21: I'm wondering if maybe I should stay another year and maybe get some work experience.
Dad: Oh yeah?
Anthony: Yeah, what do you think?
Dad: Well, I think that'd be kind of stupid. Sounds like you'd just be putting your life on hold for a year.
Anthony: I guess.
Dad: You just do what's best for you, but you asked my advice. You've got what it takes to keep going.
Anthony: I know.
Dad: Like I said, you just do what you think is best, and I'll support you. You'll make the right decision.

Dad: You're a great kid, Ant.
Anthony, all ages: Thanks. You're a great dad.

We've had some great talks over the years, dad. Happy 51st birthday. I not only love you, but I like you too.