1. Thanksgiving comes and goes, while Christmas fades in and fades out. We know when Thanksgiving begins (on Wednesday, when family begins flying into town) and ends (that moment on Saturday when you refuse to make another plate of reheated turkey, casserole, and pie). It's set over a few days, giving it more of an impact by announcing "Hey, it's time for Thanksgiving!" Christmas is no longer a holiday; it's a season. Christmas arguably begins before Thanksgiving and ends differently for everyone. That's just too long to sustain the true spirit of a holiday.
2. Thanksgiving has stayed truer to its roots. Most of us don't spend the fourth Thursday in Novemeber at an outside table with Pilgrims and Native Americans, but we still sit at an extended table and express thanks for the people with which we break bread. Christmas, if true to its origins, should not be the biggest holiday for Christians (Easter is the ultimate Christian holiday) and would be a non-holiday to the thousands of non-Christians who still celebrate a day originally intended to glorify Jesus Christ.
3. Sucky 90s adult contemporary artists don't make sterile albums about Thanksgiving. Seriously, has anyone heard the four minutes of utter confusion and torture when Placido Domingo shares a performance of "Ave Maria" with... Michael Bolton?!?
4. No gift buying for Thanksgiving. Yeah, the day after Thanksgiving is the busiest shopping day of the year, but we all know what that's for, don't we? It's so you can try to hold in the embarassment when someone you have bought nothing for gives you a semi-decent Christma gift, so you have to pretend you have theirs back home while you're wondering what restaurant you can pick up a gift certificate from during lunch break so you don't look like an inconsiderate prick. Another thing: don't people with December birthdays get ripped off because all their loved ones have spent their money on Christmas gifts? I'm glad my parents conceived me nine months before summer.
5. Thanksgiving is a day of watching and playing football. Ok, so when I finally got old enough to play football, the older generation displayed their moxie over a game of monopoly (one of those moments in my childhood that made me realize we all will get old), but I still get to watch the first quarter of the second game until I fall asleep on the couch while everyone taps each other and quietly points to my closed eyes, tilted-back head, and slightly ajar mouth. That's fun for everyone. Then someone tries to stick their finger between your teeth, and your nap is over. Good times.
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