The pain of lost love remains a daggar long after the pain of losing a love.

This evening I comforted a friend who inquired about my own experiences with being forced to close the book on a love story, specifically the saga of me and Haley. About this time a year ago is when our pieces began to crumble. For another four months I attempted to spread putty on a crater-sized hole. We would take one step forward, one step back, one step forward, two steps back. Only when I took my own step back could I finally see the problems that no good intention, no determination, no sign of affection could rectify. Two months after saying goodbye, I became a stronger, happier person. After driving Haley back home from our first night together post-break-up, I knew my affections were no longer stuck on her. Looking back, I think I was over her one month before, after (but not while) briefly dating another girl.

So months have passed since I've been in love, months without even feeling a strong adoration for any girl, let alone Haley. Why, then, could I feel my voice quiver as I retold my story this evening? Why did my body shake in the same nervous fashion as when I loved this girl? Why could I not tell this story without reliving some of the pain?

"It's hard to give up the one you never thought you'd leave (Juliana Theory, "August in Bethany")." While I can attest to such difficulties, I also recognize that once you accept the end of a relationship, your emotions and perspective get healthier. You gradually refamaliarize yourself with a life independent of that other person, you understand why what you wanted and what was meant to be are not one in the same, and you release your grasp of feelings for that other person. It may to tough giving up someone you never pictured giving up, but once you do, your life can continue to blossom.

But standing beyond the sorrow of a broken relationship does not free you from the anguish of the struggles and failure you endured along the way. Long after you learn enough from a relationship that you are thankful for all that happened, the memory of your core feelings through the hardship can still affect you. People can move on from times of sorrow and still be affected by the memory of the pain. An elderly woman cries when retelling the time her son was part of a serious car accident. A thirty-year-old man heats up inside when retelling the day his mom explained that daddy was moving out of the house to live in a new place with a strange lady. A twenty-year-old boy shakes when retelling his first experience of losing someone he loved.

They all have put their grief behind them, yet the general feeling of sorrow can be rekindled...

but only for a fading moment, for life is too full of preciousness and joy to surround yourself with former woes.