Ask people what their favorite movies are, and they'll proceed to mention a few Oscar winners, a few classic comedies, and one or two lesser-knowns. Ask people what their favorite foods are, and once they get past pizza, the list is a random menu of savory decadence that leaves you running to the supermarket (unless, of course, their favorite foods are celery and rice cakes). Ask people what their favorite anything is, and they should tell you those choice-selects that give them more enjoyment than whatever the alternatives may be.
You should be able to get a better idea about who someone is when they list their favorites.
But ask people what their favorite music is, and watch as they try nauseatingly to show you that they are the all-encompassing music lover!
Pretty much anything!
Oh man, where do I begin? I pretty much love it all!
All kinds!
Oh God, too much to choose from!
I listen to EVERYTHING!
What is it about music that makes us say this? If you're one of these people, I'll let you in on a secret: nobody believes you! We know that maybe your radio will show some diversity because you had the foresight to program a Top 40, alternative, and hip hop station in the presets (and maybe even a country station and the public access station!), but we also know that at least two of those stations are symbolic and rarely ever get any play. You're a freakin liar, you freakin liar!
I've come up with a few reasons people may do this:
1) To be accepted by the "in" crowd. I'm not talking about in crowd in the sense of what's topping TRL, but rather whoever you're associating with that you want to like you. The music (and musicians) you listen to often says a lot about you and who you identify with. Hip hop, punk, emo, whatever, it can encompass an entire person's life. And if you don't say you listen to that kind of music, how is someone dedicated to it going to relate to and accept you? Actually they'd probably be able to still like you fine, but hey, even if I don't really know anything about classical, Hans won't think I don't if I say I like all kinds of music, right? We still have so much in common now! This is an unconscious motive 99% of the time.
2) To avoid stereotypes or stigmas. Again, on the knowledge that music can be a big indicator of who you are, saying you're a country boy at heart can forever label you as the guy in the pickup who couldn't move to the new Pharrell mix to save his life. We don't want to be labelled by what music we listen to and thus try to make ourselves appear more complex than we actually are. People, it's ok to have simple, easy-to-identify music tastes. We know you're complex. We all are. We just don't need to lie about our music tastes to prove it. If someone bases his whole opinion of you on your 80 Elton John cd's, then fuck him.
3) They honestly believe it. These people lack insight and should consider spending more time alone to figure out who they really are.
4) To be cooler than you. These people are douchebags and should consider spending more time alone to figure out who they really are. And they are not cooler than you. Sadly, I'd probably put myself in this list before any of the above.
5) They haven't really given it much thought. They say it with a shrug, resigned to the fact that they can't give an honest answer. Music isn't the most important thing to these people. And that's fine. If you like wine but aren't an afficionado, it's ok to not know what brands of merlot you like. You can just say "all kinds' of merlot because you like merlot as a whole but haven't dived into Napa Valley.
I need some Pinot Noir now (I'm not drinking any fucking merlot!).
6) Fear of appearing close-minded. I almost labelled this one "Fear of appearing prejudiced" but decided that put too narrow a scope, and an unfair one at that, on the issue. These people are the ones who want you to think they like hip hop so you don't think they're not down with black people, when in actuality they really only like the occasional 50 Cent or Ludacris single. They don't want to alienate an entire fan base by saying they don't really like jazz. The "all kinds" response includes all groups and doesn't leave anyone out. They appear to like all kinds of music; therefore, they appear to like all kinds of people and cultures.
I'm not saying I don't do this stretching of musical tastes myself. When making a compilation for someone, I'll make a conscious attempt to incorporate many flavors to not only give them something new, but also to show off my (self-perceived) extensive tastes. It's hard sometimes to avoid being a music snob when you want to show an eclectic mix of tastes.
But I never say that I like "everything," for two reasons. One, that tells someone dick about what I listen to. And two, it's not true. I don't like everything. If I did, then I'd know nothing about music. To like it all would be to lack a discriminating ear, to like the subpar, the mediocre, to like things I don't really understand. Not everything hits me the same way. I don't mind the occasional techno mix at a club, but I couldn't show you a techno album on my shelf. I'm openly indifferent to Dave Matthews Band and others with a copycat sound. I will forever curse 80s pop for allowing the synthesizer to pollute the mainstream. And if every one of your music videos consists of you bragging about the ho's that want you as you're surrounded by retro jerseys and random girls dancing in the background, you can probably assume I'm not searching you on Ticketmaster anytime soon.
I'm not saying you shouldn't be diverse in your music selection; I actually promote the opposite. There is so much good music out there consisting of many different sounds from the mouths/instruments of people who are telling very different stories. You can enjoy both Tchiakovsky and Stefani, both Tony Bennett and Palo Viejo, both Hanson and Tupac (and yes, I've played the hell out of my 2 Hanson and 7 Tupac albums). In fact, listening to many different types of music will help you become more knowledged of other cultures, different eras, even your own self. But go out there and explore. Find what the things are that you truly like about music. If you settle on saying you like it all, there's not much drive to go out there and explore something new.
You don't like all kinds of music. You like what you like, and that's fine. It's everything to you. It's just not EVERYTHING!
4 comments:
I think there is another category you should include: Those who do like a wide variety of music and are too lazy to list what they like. I would include myself in this or, alas, in the "cooler than you" category. I am a bit of a music snob. However, I do like a wide range of music and it would take entirely too much effort, more than a facebook page is worth, to weed out what I really don't like. Also, how do you define what you like? You say you listen to techno, but don't own a record. Does that mean you don't like it? Or that the utility of owning the record is less than the equivalent price that could be put towards a different item? For the most part, however, I agree with what you have said. People seem to be defined by their musical tastes than any other "favorite." Yes, there are things that I don't listen too. But, I am too lazy to take the time to define it all. I have found a happy medium by saying I like everything except "insert really offensive rap and music missing a valid melody line here." Good post, Anthony. I do enjoy reading your blog. I'm in class right now, slightly bored, and am in an argumentative mood, so please excuse any harsh edge this comment may have. Just have to put a plug in for those who prefer a nice Smoking Loone, but will drink a $5 Jacob's Creek, so they just say "red wine, please."
misspelled Smoking Loon:) sort of ruins the punchline with that one. Stupid keyboard.
I think my use of the work "like" when talking about this may have been in poor taste, but I've yet to find figure out what word better describes it. "Love" is too strong.
Regarding my techno scenario, I mean to imply that my not having a dislike for techno, or even enjoying the occasional techno track, does not mean I have genuine liking for the genre. There are several musicians or types of music that I may not mind, like a song or two, but do not have an affinity for strong enough to merit my saying I genuinely like the entire entity. Besides, if you merely "like" something, it's not your favorite.
My friend is a reviews editor for Paste Magazine, and one of their primary reasons for including a wide array of genres in their magazine is because they realized that lovers of music like many different types. In actuality, most people like many different types of music. It's much harder to find someone who is closed onto one type of music.
Most people like a great deal of different types of music, and this is why I chose not to say I like "everything": because that doesn't answer the question for me or anyone else. It doesn't separate me from anyone else; therefore, it doesn't tell people who I really am, what it is that makes me my own person. And that's the ultimate point of favorite lists: I'll like many of the things on your list, but I'll know that there are certain things that truly hit you in a special way above anything else.
I still can't give a completely satisfactory answer to what my favorite music is. This is why I'm one of those music snobs on facebook who actually alphabetizes his list of musicians. But this is just one more thing to ponder as I continue to figure out who I am. I think that settling on saying "everything" would compromise that self-awareness and introspection.
Hope that clarified things a little bit, Ms. Roach.
Thanks for the clarification Mr. Perillo;) I guess if you had to nail me down, Harry Connick, Jr. is one of my very favorite musicians. His first cd is still the one I put on when I need to be put in a good mood, wallow, or just need some jazz. I like that he has a style of his own while still being traditional in a way. I hope you are surviving up there in the strange world known as "New England." Crazy brits.
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