The Box Set is Now Complete!

Members Only, Disc 3
1. "Safety Dance"- Men Without Hats
2. "I Melt with You"- Modern English
3. "Somebody's Watching Me"- Rockwell
4. "Putting on the Ritz"- Taco
5. "Relax"- Frankie Goes to Hollywood
6. "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)"- Eurythmics
7. "Whip It"- Devo
8. "Maniac"- Michael Sembello
9. "The Heat is On"- Glenn Frey
10. "Always Something There to Remind Me"- Naked Eyes
11. "Ghostbusters"- Ray Parker, Jr.
12. "I Wear my Sunglasses at Night"- Corey Hart
13. "Mr. Roboto"- Styx
14. "She Blinded Me with Science"- Thomas Dolby
15. "Rock the Casbah"- The Clash
16. "Tainted Love"- Soft Cell
17. "Cars"- Gary Numan
18. "Take my Breath Away"- Berlin
19. "Rosanna"- Toto

Members Only, Disc 4
1. "Centerfold"- The J Geils Band
2. "Too Shy"- Kajagoogoo
3. "Jesse's Girl"- Rick Springfield
4. "You're the Inspiration"- Chicago
5. "I Think We're Alone Now"- Tiffany
6. "Unskinny Bop"- Poison
7. "Call Me"- Blondie
8. "Mony Mony"- Billy Idol
9. "I Know What Boys Like"- The Waitresses
10. "Girls Just Want to Have Fun"- Cyndi Lauper
11. "Faith"- George Michael
12. "The Lady in Red"- Chris DeBurgh
13. "Get Outta my Dreams, Get into my Car"- Billy Ocean
14. "When Doves Cry"- Prince
15. "Party all the Time"- Eddie Murphy
16. "Physical"- Olivia Newton-John
17. "Cum on Feel the Noize"- Quiet Riot
18. "Can't Fight this Feeling"- REO Speedwagon
19. "Flashdance... What a Feeling"- Irene Cara

Track Listings for Members Only Discs 1 and 2 here.

Rockin in Rhythm

In 1999 my high school jazz band celebrated the centennial anniversary of Duke Ellington. For months we played nothing but Ellington, slow and breezy jazz that made you want to put on a derby hat and strut your stuff toward the dame in the long, flowing skirt. My jazz teacher had hoped that we'd get into enough of a WWII style to be one of the top 20 bands participating in a chance to play an Ellington tribute concert with Wynton Marsalis. Because, see, they only chose the top 20.

My jazz band finished 22nd (and though our fatally weak scores came in the song that featured myself on flugelhorn*, I refuse to take any of the blame), so we weren't going to the Lincoln Center. But we had all these Ellington pieces prepared, and we had to do something with them. So we booked our local music theater, rented some tuxedos, and sold tickets for the Tate Jazz Band's Tribute to Ellington.

Of course, we weren't the only high school to notice the 100th anniversary of the Dukester. Other podunk jazz bands around the area offered similar concerts to ours, but we had a trump card up our sleeves: we were gonna find a household name (in the jazz community, which means about 400 people have heard of him) to come play with us.

I give my jazz teacher credit, because he reached high and got his first choice: Ellis Marsalis, father of Wynton, Branford (of The Tonight Show fame) and a few other talented musicians. From the moment Ellis arrived into town, he took the upcoming performance very seriously. He never smiled, just sat down in front of the piano and played. And he expected you to be serious too. For Ellis, a tribute to Ellington required you to set time for fun aside and work hard to play solid, beautiful jazz.

During the concert Mr. Connell pointed to me and my friend Andrew, and we knew what he wanted. We were in the middle of a solo section, and the time had come for Andrew and me to perform one of our infamous "call-and-responses." After minutes of standard, tasteful jazz improvisations, Andrew shocked the audience by blasting a furious flurry of high-squealed and low-growled trumpet. A few seconds later, I would follow by mimicking his barely sensical rant verbatim-- I guess this is the time to confess my superpower: I have quasi-perfect pitch, which allows me to hear music, identify the pitches, and immediately replay them to you.

The audience had a blast with our insane rendition of a call-and-response. For a moment we weren't playing Ellington; we were playing Anthony and Andrew. As the applause hit its apex I looked over to Andrew. He was bopping his head and the thumbs up pointed in my direction. Then I looked at Ellis (I can call him Ellis). I'll never forget his surly smirk, one a teacher gives to the kid making fart noises during the spelling bee. Ellis had dedicated his entire life to music, as well as his week to us, and he expected us to take the concert as seriously as he did.

But I never played jazz for the sacredness of the music, nor did I play for the complex compositions, the camaraderie, or the chicks. I played for the simple reason that I found it fun and enjoyable. And that's why I'm again practicing, and that's why tonight I jammed (with the fellas from Swayback) for the first time in four years, and that's why one day I'll again perform music for people.

*If you had any doubt before that I was a geek, I think using the word "flugelhorn" in my blog sealed the deal.

McTriple Bypass

No one has ever sacrificed his body so much for a movie as the man who ate only McDonald's for a month.

Two, Four, Six, Eight

An often-ignored factor in deciding which political party to vote for is which kind of protesters you would rather deal with for the next four years: the preachy or the whiny.

Bended Knee

Two girls that I've dated in the past two years are now engaged.

Oh What a World We Live In

I bought more cds in 2003 than ever before. The incredible shift has been made from appreciating individual songs to deciphering entire albums, and now I can't get enough music. I now understand why my dad collects and collects to the point of 5,000 cds and 2,500 vinyls.

Without further ado, my Top 10 albums of 2003:

10. Dashboard Confessional - A Mark, a Mission, a Brand, a Scar. Chris Carrabba adds a rhythm section to support his "emotional" voice. Their play is technically solid while still maintaining that much-needed raw energy. Some tracks are forgettable, but the opening track ("Hands Down") is my single of the year. I seriously had that song in my head longer than any other song... ever. Favorite track: "Hands Down"

9. Rosie Thomas - Only With Laughter Can You Win. This woman's voice can only be described in one word: precious. Okay, maybe a few more. Serene, Angelic, Innocent, Loving, Childish, Calming, Beautiful. Favorite track: "Gradually"

8. Outkast - Speakerboxxx/The Love Below. Some artists receive critical acclaim more from hype than talent, but there's a good reason that Outkast became a word-of-mouth sensation. The dual album is innovative, diverse, and hilarious. Though I could do without maybe 20 minutes of the two-hour-plus marathon, "Hey Ya" would make up for 40 minutes of filler on almost any other album. If you didn't feel good after first hearing "Hey Ya," you have no soul. Favorite track: "Hey Ya"

7. The Raveonettes - Chain Gang of Love. You have a right to hate this album. Every song is played in B-flat major (as advertised on the cover). But you know what? I love B-flat major, and I love The Raveonettes. Favorite track: "Let's Rave On"

6. Switchfoot - The Beautiful Letdown. Good music's answer to Christian Contemporary. The first track ("Meant to Live") is making a splash onto alternative and even Top 40 radio, 11 months after the album's release. Take a listen. These guys are like that special food that tastes great, and is good for you. Favorite track: "Twenty-Four" (I don't count the rerelease of "Dare You to Move," my favorite Switchfoot song)

5. Over the Rhine - Ohio. I first heard Over the Rhine in my friend's car, and my first thought was, "This is exactly how I would write a song." I ordered Ohio as soon as it was available, and, to be honest, I was a little disappointed initially. But then I put in the second disc, and I felt the magic that intrigued me so much when I first heard "B.P.D." It took a few weeks, but eventually Karin Bergquist's voice and Over the Rhine's songwriting talent won me over. How much so? Go back and look at who I placed them above. Favorite track: "B.P.D."

4. The White Stripes - Elephant. The White Stripes are the target of many haters, to which Jack White responds, "I'm gonna fight em off. A seven nation army couldn't hold me back." Jack and Meg may not play their instruments extraordinarily well, but if technique and polish were what made legendary musicians, The Beatles wouldn't even have a mention in the history of rock n' roll. So shut up. Favorite track: "The Air Near my Fingers"

3. Belle and Sebastian - Dear Catastrophe Waitress. The reason this list comes 3 weeks after the end of 2003: I just discovered Belle and Sebastian, and I immediately knew their new album would bump a few of my favorite albums down the list. The songs sound like a collection of hits from the 60s. While I'm an entire generation behind the 60s, this album makes me pine for the good old days, when music meant something... and was damn good. Favorite track: "Dear Catastrophe Waitress"

2. The Strokes - Room on Fire. The Strokes and The White Stripes are paired together when discussing anything concerning music, and with reason. I could use the same summary for Room on Fire as I did for Elephant, but The Strokes deserve their own commendation. The album is amazingly tight. The thirty minutes of honest, aggressive rock n' roll fly by leaving you wanting more. Each song stays true to the same style of up-tempo, I-don't-give-a-damn rock, but no two tracks sound the same, and each song is special in its own right. That is phenomenal. Favorite track: "Under Control"

1. Rufus Wainwright - Want One. This is music. I cannot express enough how much I love this album. Every song tells a different tale, from a different angle, with a different color. Rufus sounds like he's the crooner missing from Sgt. Pepper on one piece, pop's answer to Maurice Ravel in another, and even wanders into heir-to-Radiohead territory in the middle. His voice, though nasal and slurred, flows marvelously. The instrumentation will alarm you-- vibraphone, banjo, and even tuba(!) make appearances-- but everything fits appropriately and beautifully. Rufus Wainwright joined Joshua Redman as my favorite musician because of this 14-track masterpiece. Go buy it right now. You can thank me later. Favorite track: I simply cannot decide, but if forced to, half the time I'd say "Go or Go Ahead" and half the time I'd say "Beautiful Child"

You should've been gone, knowing how I made you feel

Things I shouldn't admit I did today:
1) Honked at an eighty-year-old women for driving too slow in the left lane
2) Muttered "old bitch" as I pressed the horn
3) Finished a grad school application 17 hours before the due date
4) Wore boxers that glow in the dark glowed back in their prime. They had big red hearts all over.
5) Hummed "Oh Sherrie" by Steve Perry for an hour
6) Downloaded "Oh Sherrie"
7) Listened to "Oh Sherrie" on constant repeat

On the Swedish

I wish, I wish, oh how I wish I would have brought my new video camera to The Landings party last night, for if I had, the whole world behold the glorious display of my drunken friend approaching a guy who uncannily resembled a former MTV star, sticking his butt onto his thigh, and proudly shouting, "My bum is on Tom Green!"

Baby, That was not Money

I withdrew $100 from my savings account on New Year's Eve. I drove to Biloxi with McSuck. I played two hours of blackjack. I left $80 at the Beau Rivage Casino. I left about 10 percent of my savings sitting on the blackjack table.

My cousin drove to Biloxi two days later. My cousin played hours of blackjack. My cousin took money from the Beau Rivage Casino. My cousin took $23,000 home, give or take a few bucks to tip his big-breasted cocktail waitress for keeping the Coors coming.

How do you Know what it's About if There's no Title to Follow?

I see people in my hometown whose lives have hit neutral. Sure, they look a little pudgier, recently got new jobs, and sport engagement rings, but they are the same people from high school. Me, I've changed. And they have too, in some degrees...

You know what? Forget it.

I just drove five hours through the blankest slate of highway in America, I-10. I start classes (for the final time at UF) tomorrow morning. I burnt my palate because I get too gluttonous and eat things straight from the oven. And I'm tired.

So let's just cut to the chase:

1) The longer you continue living in your hometown, the harder it becomes to leave.
2) I can see many people, once sharing my very same aspirations, stuck in one place. And it won't change. They're stuck.
3) Why would anyone want to constrict his entire life within the compounds of a city as small and repetitive as Pensacola, Florida?
4) Here's my jigsaw puzzle

5) I'm back.