Highlights of the "Anthony Turns 21" East Coast Tour

Witnessing an effeminate patient give himself a facial with pancake syrup
Making a grand entrance to my birthday dinner by blasting A Flock of Seagulls through the parking lot
Successfully downing my first Irish Car Bomb
Opening my presents and discovering a pattern: Cameron Diaz and Alcohol
Having the waiters at Red Lobster singing with my birthday cake tiramisu... while I'm in the bathroom
Hitting a $50 winner on my third pull of the slot machine
Screwing over disgruntled gamblers by playing foolishly, but successfully, at the blackjack table
Seeing my mom get hammered on one shot of Amarula
Waiting 45 minutes for Mexican food, only to realize we forgot to order
Winning Eddie From Ohio tickets for taking part in a radio sound bit
Pissing off a three-story parking garage
Giving a girl my underwear at her bachelorette party
Fulfilling a dream with a thirty-something-year-old woman, whom I'll affectionately call Miss Robinson