Men essentially have four choices in the matter, though two choices are more obvious/popular than the others. Back at the 1992 Rock the Vote, some girl asked Bill Clinton about his personal preference in this issue. People can be judged, possibly ridiculed, based on choosing a certain option. Over the past week, I have experimented with all four options, all my passersby and friends blind to the study. Like most studies, each variable had its postives and negatives, but will I ultimately select one above the rest? The four options:

Choice 1: Tighty Whities
History: During the first nineteen years of my life, and especially up to age seventeen, I had a dresser drawer full of briefs. Everyday I woke up wearing briefs, put a new pair of briefs on after every shower, and wore my briefs every night in bed. Over the last year the briefs have been phased out, though I occaisionally still wear them, as I did today.
Positives: Provide security, never tangle with other items of clothing, pants come on easily over them, prevalent use gives them a "natural" feel.
Negatives: Can be constricting, embarrassing to be caught in, attatched stigma, front flap very hard to use, cannot wear variety of designs after age 5.
Overview: If briefs were thought of as cool and sexy, maybe I never would have flirted with other styles. I may still use them but would hide this fact to avoid ridicule.

Choice 2: Boxers
History: I got my first pair of boxers sometime in middle school, but I hated them. The extra room felt spooky and uncomfortable, as if my cozy townhouse had been replaced by a haunted mansion filled with chills and echoes. I casually used boxers starting my junior year of high school, mostly when I dressed up; the bagginess was more tolerable in soft dress pants. While I increased my use of boxers sophomore year, they have never been the staple of my dresser drawer.
Positives: Ample breathing room, variety of designs, appeal to girls (so I hear), comfort when pant-less.
Negatives: Can bunch up when getting dressed/walking/doing any type of moving, little security, clash with gym shorts, have to see guys try to be cool by sagging their board shorts and revealing their boxers.
Overview: For some reason, this is the least appealing option. While boxers can give me the illusion of freedom, I never quite forget they are there because they bunch up. A fine item to sleep in and perhaps the coolest option to claim I use.

Choice 3: Boxer-briefs
History: I began to wonder whether I could get what I like from briefs without the stigma. Out of sheer curiosity, I bought my first pairs of boxer-briefs this summer, and they have been the most prevalent in my rotation ever since.
Positives: Security, fit easily under clothing, attractive, come in sleek colors, provide steady air flow, comfortable with virtually all styles of clothing.
Negatives: Tend to stretch out over the day (thus providing inconsistent results), can ride up thighs, considered a cop-out from briefs for those without enough machismo to strut in boxers.
Overview: All in all, boxer-briefs incorporate most of the strengths of boxers and briefs to provide a happy medium. They will hold the dominant corner of my dresser. However, intrigue brought forth a forgotten option...

Choice 4: Going Commando (!)
History: Most of us have tried it in small doses, but a Seinfeld episode--- the one where Kramer decides to abandon underwear--- gave me the motivation to experience the Kramer life. My unsuspecting friends did not realize I went half of last week without wearing a single undergarment!
Positives: Spaciousness, sense of power and mystery, quicker getting dressed/undressed, save money on fewer clothes, plenty of breathing room.
Negatives: Idea that one thin strip of pants cloth separates you from the rest of the world, too much motion, stigma of a sex-hog, one "pantsing" away from indecent exposure, must use extra extra care after peeing, zipper snips.
Overview: I'm gonna be honest here: I enjoyed the commando experince, expecially when playing sports in gym shorts. Going commando has its personal advantages but also has the potential for disaster. Would I dare incorporate this into my normal repertoire?

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(Anthony surrounds himself with a mysterious aura as he keeps his decision secret.)